• Becca

Always Change the Cat Litter!

I know what you're thinking. This story is about a cute kitten playing with a fish. No....I just thought that was a cute picture and since DD1 and DD2 are allergic to cats we can't have any. After I tell you this story you will probably think this is a lucky thing for cats.

I love cats. More than kids on some days. Unfortunately, DH does not like cats at all. I think he might have liked them at one time but a few negative encounters with my cat while we were stationed in Hawaii has left him rather bitter toward the entire feline population. To be honest, if a cat peed on everything I owned I might be a little bitter, too. Hey- she could tell he didn't like her from the beginning and she was just trying to prove a point.

This wasn't the first time around the block with cat problems. When we were first married and stationed in Pascagoula, MS we had a cat named Tabby. Our sweet Tabby, as it turned out, was a slut. She liked to sneak out when no one was looking. The last time this happened, she got caught. She came home from her three day leave of absence KNOCKED UP!

Obviously, she forgot we had a toddler running crazily around the house. I had to keep reminding him to be gentle with Tabby because she was having babies. "Babies?" he would ask. "Yes, DS, babies." Tabby finally had a healthy litter of five kittens.

It was a CONSTANT battle to keep DS away from these kittens. The kittens finally had their eyes opened and were waddling around. You know how kittens wobble....it's the cutest thing ever when they are first learning to walk. I had DS convinced that if he touched them they would run away. It seemed to be working. Hell yes! I was a proud mama. I could keep a toddler alive AND five kittens alive with a toddler around. Aren't there awards for this type of thing?

DH was always a good boy, until he was bad. DH and I were watching a show one night and DS was playing quietly in his room. This wasn't anything unusual as he was always very good at entertaining himself. Out of nowhere came "THE GIGGLE!" If you are a parent, you know exactly what giggle I'm talking about. It's the giggle that sounds good but you know there is evil lurking behind it. The one that makes your sphincter instantly tighten up and have a death grip on whatever you happen to be sitting on. I looked over at my husband in horror. We both turned our ears toward the giggle and realized it was coming from the kitten room. Mama and babies were residing in the guest room which was also attached to a half bath.

We jumped up to go investigate when we looked down the hall and saw it! Mummy kitten. Not MOMMY...I want you to take a moment and let this soak in. MUMMY kitten. At this point I had no idea what had transpired in the back room, but I knew it was bad. This kitten was literally walking down the hall like mummies. All four of its legs looked like they had concrete casts on them. He was so stiff legged. As I neared mummy kitten 1, mummy kitten 2, 3, 4 and 5 came stiff legging it around the corner. What in the holy hell was wrong with these cats!? Did they have some sort of disease or something? I had a kid to think of. If these things were diseased they had to go!

DH (how supportive he was) began to laugh hysterically. I didn't understand what was going on. I looked at him in shock. I stared at him like he had three heads. Had whatever plagued the kittens attacked him too? Was he insane? Now I was beginning to worry a little. If he had a disease his ass was going out with the cats! Survival of the fittest.

About the time I got that fool to take a breath and tell me what was going on, good ole' DS came snooping around the corner with that sly grin of his. Oh hell. This was one of HIS shenanigan's. I flipped the light on in the hallway to better access the damage.

Sweet mother of God. The kittens had hardened cat litter around their legs. They were mummified in cat litter! DS had dunked them in the toilet and rolled them like a burrito in cat litter. The water and the cat litter had turned to concrete on those babies. I was horrified. I don't know if I was more horrified about the actual situation, or the fact that DH and DS were still laughing hysterically. I snatched the kittens up and put them in the bathtub to try and pull the concrete off of their fur. In case you weren't aware of this, cats really don't like water. It doesn't matter if you are trying to save them a life of concrete legs or not. Here's a free piece of advice for you. They REALLY don't like it when you hold them in it to try and free them from a body cast.

An hour later, with help I might add, 1, 2, and 3 were free of their leg prisons. DH and DS were happily cuddling on the couch watching some stupid show on T.V. I put the kittens back in the room and wrapped them in a blanket. For the first time, I took advantage of the hook latch lock on the top of the door. I hadn't used it before because, well quite frankly, I was too damn short to reach it. I hadn't grown an inch you understand, but now I had 5 little lives depending on me, so I climbed on top of the shelving in the linen closet and locked it.

All I could be thankful for was that I had changed the littler an hour before, and I knew no one ever used that toilet so the water was clean. It's the little things.....

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